The Drunk Junk
by 22-fall-in-love
Summary: Requested Tumblr Prompt: Emily gets drunk. Things get weird.


So I'm not sure if this is what you wanted, because what the heck did I just write? It's too late at night for this crap.

The Drunk Junk

 _Chloe Beale: I'm going to kill you, Amy._

 _Fat Amy: So I spiked Legacy's punch with moonshine. Big deal. She's legal._

 _Chloe Beale: Um no she's not. She's 18, and we have the performance at the convention tomorrow, Amy!_

 _Fat Amy: Yeah, it's legal to drink alcohol at 18. Duhhh. Everyone knows that._

 _Chloe Beale: No Amy, the legal drinking age is 21._

 _Fat Amy: Ohhhhh. I really thought it was 18._

 _Chloe Beale: It's been 21 our entire lives._

 _Fat Amy: Maybe in America. In Australia it's 18. Sorry. Just give her some water. She'll sober up._

 _Chloe Beale: She literally just asked me why the guy that went past us was brown. Water isn't going to help anything. Thanks for leaving Beca and I ALONE to deal with this._

 _Fat Amy: I said I was sorry. Jeez. You know I always have to be front row when the Biebs is in town._

"Chloe, yooour thong is sooo pretty and pink. It's fit for a princessssss!" Emily Junk squealed, staring at the underwear peeking out from the shorter Bella's jeans. Emily tripped up the steps, draping her arms around Chloe's shoulders to keep from falling. Chloe had to pull her into the Bella House.

"I'm dealing with a child," Chloe mused, shaking her head in disbelief.

" O.M.G, you shouldddd give your underwear to Amy! She has such a—such a lovely Vaginaaaaa!" She hugged Chloe around the neck, planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek, before whispering, "I would know, I saw it on national T.V! Fat Amy's downstairs is famousss."

"I'll think about it, Legacy," Chloe said offhandedly, patting the younger girl on the head. "BEC, I TOLD YOU THIS WAS AN EMERGENCY. PLEASE GET DOWN HERE."

"CHLOOOE!"

" _What_ , Emily?" she sighed, taking off her heels and tossing them toward the door.

"Am I a dog?"

Chloe couldn't help giggling. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because you patted me on the head, and that's what I do to my dog Katy Perry when he's been a good boyyyyy."

"You named your dog Katy Perry?"

"Yeah, cuz I wannna make it like his birthday every day!" She sang, and it was very off key. The younger girl began twirling around as she sang Katy Perry even louder.

Beca came down the steps in the process of throwing on a T-shirt. Chloe immediately looked away. She'd seen Beca naked, sure, but her crush on the Bella would be made stronger the longer she looked. She had been trying to get over her. , "Hey sorry I was in the—" the aca-captain stopped talking when a smell she knew all too well hit her nostrils. She looked to Emily who was still singing Katy Perry and then back to Chloe, "Why the fuck does she smell like alcohol?"

"Fat Amy."

Beca caught Emily's eye, and her face lit up because she missed her Beca in the three hours she had been away from her. She ran forward and tripped into Beca's arms, knocking the tiny DJ into the back of the sofa, "Beccccaw! Are you a bird?" …

 _"_ Why would I be a bird?" Beca asked as she steered Emily to the couch and sat her down. She tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help it. Emily was trashed and acting like a five year old who ate too much candy on Halloween. It could have been worse, though. Emily could've ended up a violent drunk. Instead, she was just way too happy. Beca was thankful for that.

"Because Jesse calls you Beccaw, and Chloe says she wants to be with you because she thinks you'd be a dirty little bird in—"

"OKAYYY!" Chloe lunged over the arm of the couch to cover Emily's mouth, "I think you've said enough for tonight. Maybe we should just get you to bed."

"No, I think I want to hear this, Chloe. Where would I be a dirty little bird?" Beca's haughty smile was enough to kill her. Chloe was going to murder Patricia Wilson.

"She's really drunk. She really doesn't know what she's talking about."

Emily looked offended, and Chloe's face was getting hotter by the second. "Of course, I do!" Emily scoffed, "Everyone knows. You always say you think Beca would be a dirty little bird in bed."

"Oh really?" Beca asked as a smug smirk played at her lips.

Chloe's hand was over Emily's mouth again. "She's lying. She's totally lying."

"My mom says lying is badddd," Emily said, stumbling back a few steps, slapping her hand over her heart like she was about to say the pledge of allegiance, "I am a woman of dignity, just like Sarah Palin!"

"She's lying. She's so lying."

"Whatever, you totally want Beca."

"That's not true, Emily! You are so lying!" At this point, Chloe's face was as red as her hair.

Emily began singing a weird song at the top of her lungs.

" _Revelation! Revelation! 21:8! 21:8! Liars go to hell! Liars go to hell! Burn, Burn_ —" Emily stopped her cultish song, grabbing her stomach, "Ughhh, I don't feel so hot."

"Come on, Legacy. Let's get you to bed," Beca said as she took Emily under the arm. Beca laid Emily on her bed and tucked her in while Chloe grabbed a trash can and sat it down next the freshman who had already passed out.

"She's a handful drunk, isn't she?" Chloe whispered, gently shutting Emily's bedroom door. Chloe let out a soft chuckle, "It was like having to watch over a child."

"Definitely. Kids scare me, Chloe. We are _never_ having kids."

Chloe stopped in her tracks—shocked, staring open mouthed at Beca.

"What, Beale?"

"Beca…you just said _we."_

"Well…I figured that would come up at some point, considering I'm about to show you just how much of a dirty little bird I can be."

And before Chloe could even process what had just taken place, she was being dragged to the bedroom.

FIN


End file.
